Fiscal Fun Gifts

"That's not true sir, we don't try and soak the rich - we try and soak everybody."

'Savings on Merchandise'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Looks like another profit's warning

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"That was a rumor day."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

What is possible and what is probable.

Fiscal cliff

'Till debt do us part...'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'The financial advisor is here.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Masochism for stockholders.

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'I'd like to extend my overdraft...'

"No more stress!"

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'That one looks like a hefty tax cut with simultaneous reduction in the deficit.'