Funding Seeker Gifts

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"I may be a mere grant applicant now, but I assure you, in my past life, I was a prominent philanthropist."

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Business Outlook

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

"And this all happened in the last week..."

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

'Say what you like about Capitalism, it makes the gravy train run on time.'

loan

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

Happy looking manager with a bag of money