Funding Hunter Gifts

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

'I know what we need to turn this around, a mindless product that will make money fly out of peoples pocketbooks!'

'Profit in the garbage.'

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

Pinara fund

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'We care because we haven't made enough money not to.'

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

Business of Finger-pointing

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'In our press release, stress that our strategic focus will be on solving society's problems. This is code for making a bundle of money.'

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

'Remember, the best things in life are free. Our job is to acquire them and sell them back to the public.'

Fat happy businessman with a euro coin printed on his chest

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

"It's the only image capable of giving him the feels."

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

'No point in looking for a silver lining - we've already sold off all mineral rights.'

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"