Funding Finder Gifts

"I'm applying for a grant to be able to apply for more grants."

"Don't laugh. He's found grants like that before."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"There's more inside."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'Your future looks charming.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

Pinara fund

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Please, Lord, enough already."

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

Dummy. Now we have to apply for another grant.

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

The Institute Of Innovative Ways To Get Government Grants.

Researchers attempt to find out once and for all whether great things really can just fall in your lap.

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Born Cynical,,,,

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

'Oh, just send it the cheapest way.'

business illustration

"Formula for the new product?" "No, that's our grant going down the drain!"