Fun Teammate Gifts

"How should we divide the teams?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'The grudge match.'

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

'How's the football?' 'Terrific. The coach says I'm one of the school's greatest drawbacks.'

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Do either of you fancy joining our pub quiz team?'

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'You've got a lot to learn about being a good team player!'

Rugby Player

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

Academy.

"When the boss said I was 'really going places' I didn't know she meant I was fired!"

(visual gag) 'HA-ARRRGH' A shot put athlete tears off his head when he throws his put

"Okay, which one of you guys filled my bowling ball with helium?"

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

Office Hazing

"Our open office promotes the interchange of ideas… except they're not about work."

'Don't panic! Remain perfectly still. Do not make eye contact. If he attacks, curl into a fetal position and play dead.'