Fun-loving Churchgoers Pillows

Church Fete: Guess the sexual orientation of the vicar and win a jar of piccalilli.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

Four Chanting Monks

Today's Sermon: We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Is there any chance of a bailout?

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Let's start a small group."

"What - no alcohol, no women, no swearing? I want you to say 950 prayers as punishment for wasting your life!"

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

Curate talking to miners

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

A virtue of vicars

Minister's File

"His sermon last Sunday, 'The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth,' had them rolling in the aisles."

Ding and Dong.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

Church: 'We reserve the right to refuse salvation to anyone.'