Humor-loving Churchgoer Pillows

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

Eucharist

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"What - no alcohol, no women, no swearing? I want you to say 950 prayers as punishment for wasting your life!"

"Can we discuss this?"