Churchgoers With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'This church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, and twenties. . .'

"He promised to get a job when he get parole - so he's seeing how to get into the church."

Jesus was a republican because he rode into Jerusalem on a Democrat...

Obama Renounces His Church

Sign on door of church, "Please do not ask for forgiveness as a smack in the mouth may offend."

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

"Your deadliest sin was cheating at church bingo."

"Apparently she couldn't get a baby-sitter."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

Eucharist

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...