Full-time Kid Manager Pillows

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"He likes it."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'You know I'd take the blame kid, but I'm still on shakey ground over that carpet incident.'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'It wasn't premeditated.

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'And what pray tell do I do if the teacher asks me a question?'

'My goldfish died. I over-watered him.'

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

Mr. Tatnall's daycare "Just don't kill each other"

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

'Keep an EYE on him for me.'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

Social Networking Explained.

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

Surprise

'If you think of your target group as a 'tribe,' then from these comments, your site is Little Big Horn, and you're Custer.'

'Thank you for taking mothering to another level.'

'I've found your niche, Wilson. I'm transferring you to our day care center!'

'I told my Mom either the sitter goes, or I go!'

'You don't have to say hello every time we pass.'

Professional Parents

'You the lady who runs a day care center for 200 pre-schoolers?'

'You've no need to worry wile we're out - he wont let anyone come near the place.'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

Two kids are selling iced tea from roadside stands; one is selling regular iced tea for 50¢ a cup, while the other is selling Long Island ice teas for $5.00 a cup.