Childhood Crisis Manager Pillows

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'You know I'd take the blame kid, but I'm still on shakey ground over that carpet incident.'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic."

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Baxter, I've decided to take you off crisis management."

"I'm concerned, Larry. All you seem to do lately is put out fires and run around like a..."

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.