Fueling The Tank Of Humor Gifts

Rising Gas Prices

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

First Market Decline

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

'Look, they're slowing down.'

Fish don't get away with silent gas.

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

Oil Workers

'I didn't know these cars had such a large tank.'

'Will you marry me and help bear my burden?'

"Excuse me....water!!"

With gas prices soaring, many stations have begun posting EMS teams next to their pumps.

'Bascombe has put all his mutual fund assets into a blind trust, but it was set up so well he can't even locate it.'

"We've got friends arriving in ten minutes and you're telling me you can't light the barbecue?"

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

The poop scooper maid.

Just another day at a British Petroleum cafeteria.

'Make sure you get unleaded...'

'It's the world's tallest oil slick.'

A TV with a tap has a person drowning on the screen.

'I want everything you've got!'

'Just like the sign says...you only pay for the gas!'

A horse and rider go to fetch some petrol for a stranded horse trailer.

'I've been thinking of selling off all our assets and buying a gas station.'

'I don't want your car... I just want the gas!'

Running Water

'I had a ten gallon hat once, but I never knew if it took regular or unleaded.'

"...two fifty...THREE dollars...three fifty...FOUR dollars..."

'Go straight down,try to miss the lamp post,mount the kerb,shudder to a halt and...'

"This time we'll get all the publics support. The estate agents have agreed to back us"

'They laughed when I told them I wanted to be a pole-squatter. . . they're not laughing now.'

'Synchronised swimming,'

"I had to break up with him. I couldn't stand the armpit noises!"

"Hang on a minute...That's not regular fish food...That's ECZEMA!"