Fuel Whisperer T-Shirts

'The cost of gasoline and fuel oil are killing us. It's hard to make ends meet when one of the ends is in Saudi Arabia.'

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

The Busy Gardener

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

An old man growing berries

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Touring Cyclist

Botany Baby!

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

Tree Passion

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.