Fuel Whisperer Pillows

'The cost of gasoline and fuel oil are killing us. It's hard to make ends meet when one of the ends is in Saudi Arabia.'

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

The Busy Gardener

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Touring Cyclist

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Tree Passion

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!