Boiler Whisperer Pillows

"Would you prefer me to hover over you silently or awkwardly try to make small talk?"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

His New Grillfriend

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"Projectile hairballing."

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Will you be wanting this?'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Cat Zoom Meeting