Grill Whisperer Pillows

His New Grillfriend

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

"Ever killed a man?"

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

Judge getting hair done.

A new opera-glass for the year 1777

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

A psychic mows the lawn.

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'You're away, Doc!'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

Stealth grazing.

Office full of computers and wires.

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

Be the grass...

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

Is there life after digestion?

"Nine o’clock, water cooler, Claire and Sally – let’s do this!"

'I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me!'

Stock Market Decline

"Apparently he took it all with him."

'This portfolio is perfect for someone who has become too materialistic.'

FBI Agents Discuss Grilling Techniques