Grill Whisperer Pillows

His New Grillfriend

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

"Ever killed a man?"

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

Judge getting hair done.

A psychic mows the lawn.

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

A new opera-glass for the year 1777

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'You're away, Doc!'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

'It's just the microscope dream again...go back to sleep.'

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

Office full of computers and wires.

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

Stealth grazing.

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

Be the grass...

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

Is there life after digestion?

'This portfolio is perfect for someone who has become too materialistic.'

FBI Agents Discuss Grilling Techniques

"Apparently he took it all with him."

'I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me!'