Germ Whisperer Pillows

'It's just the microscope dream again...go back to sleep.'

"Ever killed a man?"

"You're right...it is waving back!"

'What are YOU looking at?'

I don't care if all your friends are going around, you're not going anywhere until your chores are done.

'What are YOU looking at?'

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

The Worm Charmer

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"I'm losing my patience with you."

An old man growing berries

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Award Winning Gardener

His New Grillfriend

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.