Fuel Efficiency Whisperer T-Shirts

'In line with our companies environmental policies all our 5.7 litre 'stallion' SUV's are fitted with energy efficient headlamps.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'Are we broke yet?'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

Car Dentistry.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

It's the biofuel generation.

I think I can...

The Heating Oil Problem.

'It's a hybrid.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

"Oh...that's not good."

"Yeah, my master is a car enthusiast too, but instead of going on joy-rides with me, he spends his weekends tinkering with the engine..."

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

May or May not be Hazardous Material...

"I'm your problem."

You need a bigger car/You need a smaller car.

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

'Kiss me twice! I got the raise and 36 MPG, highway!'

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'Did I mention the gas mileage?!'

"There's that squeak again."

'This model gets great gas mileage but is recommended only for the very agile driver.'

'Ever since we switched from bio-diesel to human beings, the air smells cleaner, the Earth much greener, and the mileage has been unbelievable!'

"When are you gonna tell him he's in the protest convoy and not a queue for petrol?"