Frustration-comic Enthusiast Gifts

"My mouse is running from me. Apparently, he's tired of me slamming him down when I get frustrated with my computer. I even apologised."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"Which one's yours?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'