Frustrated Parents Gifts

Cat in Tree.

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

"But MOM, between school, homework, sports and music lessons, I don't have time for time-outs anymore!"

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"It's either "Bring your kid to work" day or it's "Drop of handbag in kindergarten" day today?"

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"It's an educational toy. Let HIM figure out how to assemble it!"

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'

'You must've really been tired last night. You put the diaper on the dog.'

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

Annoy Your Parents! You've done it for real. Now, play the video game!

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

Uncertain Future

The Anxious School Drop Off

"There is no 'snooze button'. Get up, it's your turn to see to the baby!"

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

I have two teenagers that text!

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'