Frustrated Builder Gifts

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

"After 10 broken keyboards, I finally bought him one that's designed for someone who bangs on it when they're mad."

'No it's still not fixed'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

Self-Assembly Bookcase

Reality home-improvement show.

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"Dang it."

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

Car Dealer

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

A military officer daydreams

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

"If I hear one more buzz I will pull this car over!"

"What a rip-off."

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

"You know that's a waste of time, just chuck it on the fire to keep us warm."

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

Carpenter.

"That'll teach you for buying cheap paintbrushes!!"

"How the heck do I know what the password is? That's just a line of flippin' dots!"

Rage Against the Washing Machine

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

"I asked our tech support to escalate me to the next level...they transferred me to a suicide hotline!"

Some especially annoying types of packaging.