Frustrated Professional Gifts

"You're darn right I'm angry: my reputation has been ruined by my behavior."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'No it's still not fixed'

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"A watched file never loads..."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

Self-Assembly Bookcase

"Dude—you're ruining my face—and when are you painting my hands—my ear is itchy—also you stink—hurry up!"

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

A military officer daydreams

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

"The instructions must be hard to understand, because along with the number to customer service, it also has a number to an anger management counselor."

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

Man coming home and kicking cat, wife asks 'Had a good match dear?'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"The doctor will bill you now."

'What do you mean 'how much longer am I going to keep you on hold' - I called you!'

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

'All work and no play make Johnny a dull boy...keep it up, Johnny!'