Frustrated Financier Gifts

'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'

I need a credit card, I'm tired of my cheques bouncing.

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

'No it's still not fixed'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

'I was close to a breakthrough when the grant money ran out.'

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

Car Dealer

A military officer daydreams

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Energy Bills

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

I hate group projects

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"I love it - offshore - it's such a romantic word, please say it again."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"This was supposed to be the last session, but I think that I need to come abother couple of times to treat this sense of guilt for all the money I have wasted on you."

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

"It wouldn't kill you to pay your bill."