Frustrated Financier Gifts

'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'

I need a credit card, I'm tired of my cheques bouncing.

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'No it's still not fixed'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

'I was close to a breakthrough when the grant money ran out.'

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

A military officer daydreams

Car Dealer

Energy Bills

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

I hate group projects

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"I love it - offshore - it's such a romantic word, please say it again."

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.

"This was supposed to be the last session, but I think that I need to come abother couple of times to treat this sense of guilt for all the money I have wasted on you."

"It wouldn't kill you to pay your bill."

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."