Frustrated Banker Gifts

'It doesn't look good, Sir -- they're all bringing back their toasters!'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

Car Dealer

'I can remember when banks competed for customers...Now its shareholders.'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.

"We fire pound coins at each other at high speeds and hope for the best ..."

Ex-Banker: Can you spare the price of a cup of tea? Anything else is a bonus.

Extreme Accounting!

Home-Town Savings: A super-conglomerated financial company with a local-sounding name designed to put you at ease while we play with your money like a drunk tourist in Vegs.

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'

'Jason feels insecure if he's too far from his money... but electronic bank statements have cured that!'

Dog makes a bank deposit.

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name.

'I tried to take some money from the kitty like you said, but she wouldn't let me!'

Bank Manager: 'No, you cannot give your money a hug.'

'That must stand for Very Annoying Tax.'

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'

I need a credit card, I'm tired of my cheques bouncing.

"You're darn right I'm angry: my reputation has been ruined by my behavior."

Bank Punch

'Grumbling about interest rates' account

'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'

Metropolitan Bank and Trust you as far as we can throw you company

The Property Ladder

'Can you believe this bank? . . . Yesterday they refuse me a loan, today they send me a leaflet for a loan.'

"Your call is important to us, just not as important as whatever else we're doing."

"Give me a sec and I'll check your order."

'Today I celebrate paying off my student loans!'