Frustrated Fixers Gifts

"You know that's a waste of time, just chuck it on the fire to keep us warm."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

Timber preservation

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

'No it's still not fixed'

Enlightened Cursing

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

"A watched file never loads..."

Remote control car breakdown.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

Self-Assembly Bookcase

"Dang it."

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

Super Homeworld

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'Give me the saw Stanley, I'm calling a professional.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"Sorry, but road rage is next door. This room is for people who get frustrated with their compute and take it out on their keyboards."

"What a rip-off."

In case of computer breakdown break glass

'You're supposed to fetch the stick back,not throw it.'

"What don't you understand about 'fetch'?"

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'