Fruity Pharmacist Gifts

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

"Just be yourself."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Apples for sale

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Pina Coladas

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Apple Pie Abduction

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Ball as water-melon.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Plum jam...

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

End of Year Figs.

'Side effects may include....'

Conference Pears

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

Doctors

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

Apricots

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Santa's Helpers