Frontier Fun Gifts

"Buckled up for safety, Slim?"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'Ogg's quite the visionary.'

"But mom, he followed us home!"

Dniel Boone makes an involuntary fashion statement.

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

Two cowboys fight using remote control cowboys

House Hunters of the Old West

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

'Davy Crockett's divorce.'

"You were the one who wanted to colonize another planet."

Cowboy with hat out Title: 'Homeless on the Range'

'These new bendy wagons will be handy when pulling em into a circle.'

'Good of you to rustle us up some fire wood, Bat.'

"And my spittoon will go right about there."

"It's a big responsibility but I believe I can be both 'Joe six pack' and 'Joe six gun'."

"I only use it for self definition."

Scott of the Antarctic

'Have you never seen a boom town before, stranger?'

"It would be good to settle in a place that has recreational facilities."

High energy drinks

'Don't worry, our security system is impeccable.'

In 1882, accountant Desmond Mullens unwittingly rides into an intense frontier conflict.

'Stranger, we live in this climate because we're practicing for hell.'

'Quiet Zone' in the desert.