Friendship Jugglers Pillows

"Having your friends help you move is a great deal because it saves you. few hundred bucks and all it costs you is the friendship."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Multi-Tasking

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Complaining cricket wives

"How much is this going to cost me?"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

Love chair

The Joy Of Txt...

"It's not what you think."

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

State of Work...State of Marriage

Tightrope Walk of Romance

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Don't get caught."

"Get lost. I'm reading a book!"