Friendly Dinner Gifts

"You look lovely, my dear! But while we're not at work...you don't have to wear your hairnet here."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'A cheeky red?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Fridge-to-table"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"