Company Dinner Gifts

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Bo're'droom

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

Pizza time.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

I'm instituting our own company stress test. Baxter here will taste test my wife's new broccoli pickle casserole.

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"For an up to date picture, I suggest we reconvene under the table."

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"And so as a hedge against this trend, the directors have decided to invest heavily in red ink."

'You're employed here. That's a fireable offense.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"The potato salad maintains its Aa rating this year, but I'm afraid the deviled eggs are downgraded to C."

"Oh, yes, now I remember. We spoke at the company picnic."

The Butlers Ball.

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

The Last Dinner

"I'm NOT pontificating!"

"Who's idea was it to serve dressed-mutton?"

"To save everyone from suffering in polite restraint, I shall eat the last slice."

"We fired our legal department and bought a paper shredder instead!"