Friendly Critic Pillows

"Now, now - If you can't say something nice about a parson, don't say anything at all."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Movies vs. Films

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

'My dentist recommended it.'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"You'll never believe who's here."

Samuel Beckett

Seamus Heaney

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"