Faithful Critic Pillows

"REPENT! REPENT! REPENT!"

"I'd be happy to recommend a church that's just down the block."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

'Pop-up Bible.'

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

A singer being criticised

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Evolution of Man

Choirboy

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

Critics In Love