Friendly Critic Gifts

"Now, now - If you can't say something nice about a parson, don't say anything at all."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

The new Physics

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'My dentist recommended it.'

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"You'll never believe who's here."