Friend With A Stressful Job Gifts

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

InOutYada Yada.

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

violence in workplace

Race for Results

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'Where should I leave this?'

'Of course, that's just my opinion. It'll be yours, too, if you know what's good for you.'

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

Fish in Water Cooler.

"No need to rush. Take all weekend if you must."

Sleeping at the computer.

Copier is hypnotizing office worker.

Secretary

"Do you think it is easy to pretend to work?"

"I like the way you handle responsibility, Fenton, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you."

'Still on a holiday high, Miss Frimley?'

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

Friday/Saturday/Sunday