Friend Experiencing Work Stress Gifts

'It's from your boss...he says 'get well or get lost'!'

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Superheroes Having a Drink

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

violence in workplace

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

Race for Results

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'Where should I leave this?'

'Of course, that's just my opinion. It'll be yours, too, if you know what's good for you.'

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.