Friend Experiencing Work Stress Prints

'It's from your boss...he says 'get well or get lost'!'

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Superheroes Having a Drink

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

violence in workplace

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

Race for Results

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

'Do you spell 'riddance' with one 'd' or two?'

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'Where should I leave this?'

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'