Friend With A Stressful Job Pillows

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

InOutYada Yada.

Cog-In-The-Wheel

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

violence in workplace

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

Race for Results

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

'Where should I leave this?'

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

'Of course, that's just my opinion. It'll be yours, too, if you know what's good for you.'

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

Fish in Water Cooler.

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

"No need to rush. Take all weekend if you must."

Sleeping at the computer.

Copier is hypnotizing office worker.

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

'Still on a holiday high, Miss Frimley?'

"I like the way you handle responsibility, Fenton, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you."

Secretary

"Do you think it is easy to pretend to work?"