Friend With A Demanding Boss Pillows

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

Subordinate Employee

"I have good news and bad news, Tom. The good news is good for me. The bad news is bad for you."

Cog-In-The-Wheel

InOutYada Yada.

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

violence in workplace

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Race for Results

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

'Where should I leave this?'

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.

'Of course, that's just my opinion. It'll be yours, too, if you know what's good for you.'

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

"You're probably wondering why I called you in here today..."

Self-Employment

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

Fish in Water Cooler.

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."