Friend In An Office Job Pillows

'It has been brought to my attention that some of us are not working at maximum efficiency.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'What's wrong now?'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

InOutYada Yada.

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

Cog-In-The-Wheel

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

violence in workplace

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

Race for Results

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

"I'm going in."

'Miss Jones, take this down.'