Friend With A Spoiled Pet Gifts

"You're so spoiled! You have your favorite food and toys and you're still not happy! What more could you possibly want?!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

"I yip, therefore I am."

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fetching some fuel.

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"You've got athletes foot."

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

'No need to shout.'

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

Dog's game

"Pampered?"

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"The fragrance of the pines alloys so wonderfully with that dead carcass I'm about to roll in."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

'Aren't you supposed to be going for a walk?'