Friend With A Spoiled Pet Pillows

"You're so spoiled! You have your favorite food and toys and you're still not happy! What more could you possibly want?!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

"I yip, therefore I am."

"You've got athletes foot."

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fetching some fuel.

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

'No need to shout.'

"Pampered?"

Dog's game

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

"The fragrance of the pines alloys so wonderfully with that dead carcass I'm about to roll in."

"After so much fake news, how can I believe you actually threw it this time?"

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Aren't you supposed to be going for a walk?'