Friend With A Pet Pillows

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

"Speaking personally, I haven't had my day, and I've never met any dog who has."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"I yip, therefore I am."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"Why'd you stop? You were doing great ... why are you frozen like that?"

"Why do WE have to go for a run when YOU'RE the one who wants to lose weight?!"

'...yes, Siamese twinning does occur among domestic animals...

Toby the talking dog. (he's speaking Chinese).

"I know you love fetching, but that won't go viral on youtube...what else you got?"

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

Mixed Doubles.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Lamb Noise.

"This never happened."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

Christmas Pets

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

PET THEORIES

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'