Friend With A Cat Gifts

"Isn't it true that you did not love the victim, as you claim, but, in point of fact, feigned affection for the sole purpose of obtaining tuna fish?"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'What am I blind, Bob?'

'It's not laziness, its stress management.'

How to scare cats.

"I feed the cat nothing but veggies."

"I felt that there wasn't enough cat hair on your clean laundry so I decided to fix it."

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

Cat tries to trick a dog wearing a cone into drowning itself during a rain storm.

'Let's say you're all stretched out in your favorite spot and it gets cloudy...'

An angry cat with bubble gum stuck to his butt.

"Bauble, bauble on the tree, what's the last thing that you'll see?"

How cats see their home

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Cats on Board.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

The practical psychopath

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."