Friend In Food Industry Gifts

'Ey-up, here comes the boss!'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"We won!"

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Ghostbasters 3

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Race for Results

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

'In the corporate world, I'm a survivor.'

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

"My God!....Will this presentation never end?"

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

Line Manager

"105% of the staff who completed 84% of the process were 95% sure that it was a 100% waste of time."