Food Industry Gifts

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'And I bet that's only the packaging!'

"I think you should change the company name, Mr Swill"

Super Size It

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'How are the job opportunities here tonight?'

"Wonderful - this will be the absolute best popcorn anyone has ever seen."

'You should be grateful to be working for low pay and no benefits...it's EXPERIENCE!'

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

Here comes the pizza king!

"We're being paid minimum wage so do only a minimum, amount of work."

U.S. Egg Shortage

"Dad said they'd sell like hotcakes, but they're selling like vegetables."

"He's a true visionary, but limited to canned vegetables."

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

"Well sir, Sue here from the lab figures if we take a metal flask like this and vacuum it empty we can market the contents as a completely chemical free food additive!"

"I can give you a great deal on a franchise."

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

"Have you considered the option of being chopped up into small pieces and chargrilled in a mid range restaurant?"

"And now to present the arguments for chlorinated chicken. . ."

"Eventually I'd like to have a business where the money rolls in and I wouldn't have to be there much."

Annual Butcher's Meating.

"Say what you like about the meat industry — I’m digging the hormones."

Mexican Seasoning Mix Mines / Polynesian Sauce Works

All Organic Pork: "Naturally smoked bacon my ass."

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

JJ Meat Packing/JJ By Products

"Remember when all this country seemed to guarantee was a fast food job? Those sure were the good old days."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'Getting above yourself for a short order cook, aren't you?'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

'And most importantly, can you handle an oversized pepper mill?'