Friday Fanatic Pillows

"It's Friday afternoon. Let's just call our problems opportunities and leave them for next week."

Friday

"This was the best school day of the week!"

Prize vegetables.

Glastonbury. After.

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Southwark Fair.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Alternative fielding positions

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Consensus on a Friday afternoon... what a lovely way to begin the weekend!"

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''