Florida Fanatic Pillows

'Lady Godiva won't be riding today -- she went to Florida for Spring Break.'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

Alternative fielding positions

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Friday

Science fiction fans on other planets

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

"Hold on, that's my Mom dressed up like 'Xena, Princess Warrior'....real mature, Mom!"

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'Food fight!'

Frosty, the Golden Years

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Helicopter

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'He has really taken to the training.'

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

A gondolier walks into the ocean wearing a gondola shaped float.

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

Striker Aims for the Wrong Goal

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'Not funny, Lulu!'