Field Fanatic Pillows

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

Ref shows footballer green card.

'Do you have a gun permit?'

People playing football on a bridge

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

"Your grass looks great."

'Yo, coach! I think I found that promising young fielder with the hot bat who suddenly disappeared in the playoffs last fall!'

Javelin

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'This is the 100 metres. The pole vault's back there.'

Striker Aims for the Wrong Goal

Football on field mugging.

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Go team!

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Football

Alternative fielding positions

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"