Field Fanatics Pillows

'Get out of bounds, Johnson! Turf shark!'

I like the Jets...I guess

Bowled over again!

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Alternative fielding positions

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Football

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Kenny Dalglish

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Currently Boston

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Beer Order