Field Frolic Fan Pillows

In a perfect world, bean counters would only count beans.

Chase me, chase me cows.

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

Automatic swing machine

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

Centaur Sprinter

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

We're not picking you up from field hockey. Take the late bus. Ok then. I'll get home at 8:30, miss dinner and have no time to study. I'll fail my classes, never get a job and live the rest of my life with you. Not true! You have a bright future as an extortionist. Or soap opera star!

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'This is my mom and dad.'

'Hey, wait a minute!'

Ref shows footballer green card.

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

'Never shoot straight up.'

Striker Aims for the Wrong Goal

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

'Damn!...I lost my grip.'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

"Your grass looks great."

Blackbirds.

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.