Friday Fanatic Gifts

"It's Friday afternoon. Let's just call our problems opportunities and leave them for next week."

Friday

"This was the best school day of the week!"

Prize vegetables.

Glastonbury. After.

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Southwark Fair.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Alternative fielding positions

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

Christmas sweater alternatives